Medical Transcription Bloopers

 

  1.  The left side of his cranium is missing.

 
2.  He does have well-known hemorrhoids.

  3.  Reflexes in the upper extremities are normal and
       symmetrical.  Lower extremities show an absent
       right ankle compared to the left.
 
  4.  I also gave her a back book to start doing
       exercises in.

  5.  He does have a fairly high stress job and appears
      in the clinic with his lap-top computer today.

  6.  The patient wishes to establish with a neurologist
       with the diagnosis of Parkinson's disease.

  7.  She is on SEPTRA right now for a sinus infection 
       which she was given over the phone.

  8.  The patient reports that since she had
       a colonoscopy... she has noticed some 
       with her short term memory.

  9.  28 year old male comes in requesting a work
      release for his foot.

10.  She reports some hearing loss, with difficulty
      hearing her husband.

11.  She has a long history of asthma; usually she
      has found that this is exacerbated by being
      around moles.

12.  He describes the ear pain as being in the ear.

13.  ALLERGIC to MORPHINE, VALIUM, and her
      RELATIVES.

14.  This is her first period since vaginal delivery
       of a three month old baby.

15.  The patient fell while rollerblading on his left
       hand.

16.  Fracture to the proximal phalanx of the right
      fourth toe on the right fifth foot.

17.  The patient cannot touch her shoulder blade with 
       her right shoulder.

18.  The patient was taken to the microscopic room.

19.  The pain starts right after he eats meals located
       around his belly-button.

20.  has a cousin who developed curly hair after
       having a child.

21.  They will be following up with Dr. Knackstedt
       in July of this year just to check on his ears.

22.  15 year old boy was accidentally hit with 5 BB
       gun shots while he was jumping on a trampoline.

23.  The patient has a brother and sister who are
       normal.

24.  She will now be living with father and
      strep-mother...

25.  She has actually not felt well since her daughter
      was born three years ago.

26.  About 8 a.m. this morning was the last time she
      had an inhalation.

27.  She reports that, since the auto accident, the pain
      in her low back is much improved.

28.  She has had two flares of the previous sinus tract I
      identified.   She states it is related to having sexual
      intercourse, and since stopping that she has had no
      further problems.

29.  She fell and hit her left forearm against a rock
      which remains painful and swollen today.

30.  He sustained injuries to his forehead and face
      when he fell from his glasses.

31.  I recommended to mother that she get an over-the
      counter ear removal preparation.

32.  48-year-old male with left index finger laceration
      which occurred 45 minutes before he presented to
      the Urgent Care department on a piece of glass.

33.  She gets headaches with her migraines.

34.  ...and has two cousins identical to her father...

35.  He also has external hemorrhoids, which he says 
      he likes to keep to himself.

36.  ...he is seen today with his daughter Judy; but I
      guess not with his boy Elroy.

37.  Healthy-appearing child with upset mom.

38.  She also complains of pain in her right ankle.
      She says she is not sexually active.

39.  The patient complains of low back pain. She is
       able to move all of her legs.

40.  The patient reports a fatal reaction to IODINE
       in the past.

41.  The patient wonders if she can fly as far as
       her ears.

42.  She was also given an in-the-ear hearing aid whose
      patient was a husband of ours.

43.  She was the diver of a car going approximately
      25 MPH...

44.  The patient was given Dr. Davis' car and was told
       to follow up with Dr. Davis within the next week.

45.   Past medical history is significant for a basal
        cell carcinoma on her head which was removed
        recently.

46.  He has been monitoring his blood pressure. Does
      not drink. Does not use much soap.

47.  She is 15 years old. Chronic runny nose for
      20 years.

48.  Stepped on a TETANUS SHOT.

49.  Eat before the meal.

50.  She has had 3 pregnancies, 1 liver birth and 2
      spontaneous abortions.

51.  She apparently has had a cold for several weeks,
      just started to turn green the last couple of days.

52.  Husband is somewhat negative and difficult
      to live with. She is not interested in a trial 
      of medication
      for this.

53.  She did suffer loss of consciousness
      and was told y a chest x-ray that she
      had a lung contusion.

54.  The patient has not been using  METROGEL
       because it was too drying and her face peeled
       off in chunks.

55.  She has had surgery when her husband was in
      the Navy for hemorrhoids during a pregnancy.

56.  She smokes one glass of alcohol per week.

57.  . . concentrated on chest, abdomen and all four
      lower extremities.

58.  The patient has complaints of problems
       maintaining an erection for over a  year.

59.  Despite both standing and lying down, I was
      unable to demonstrate a hernia.

60.  Examination of the remaining hand is within
      normal limits.

61.  The wound is doing fine, without complaints.

62.  The patient has chest pain if she lies on her left 
       side for over a year.

63.  On the second day the knee was better and on
       the third day it had completely disappeared.

64.  The patient has been depressed ever since she
       began seeing me in 1983.

65.  The patient has left his white blood cells at
      another hospital.

66.  The patient left the hospital feeling much
       better except for her original complaint.

67.  Because of her complaints we gave her
       an endoscopy so she could look into 
       the problems she is having.

68.  She was the belted driver in the back seat.

69.  He does want the TV louder than his wife.

70.  This is a 48-year-old white female black lady.

71.  19-year-old vehicle involved in a female
       accident.

72.  Elderly male, seeking physician with hearing
      deficit.

73.  Otherwise, I have recommended rechecking
       in a few weeks just to make sure that the ear
       is completely gone.

74.  She was the driver of a car that was seatbelted
      and turning left . . .

75.  She did have a female sister who committed
      suicide.

76.  Apparently the next day she developed this rash
      on her hands, and the feet had gone away.

77.  Would like for mom to contact me in about a
       week to seven days if it is not a lot better.

78.  "It should be noted that from now on _____
       will be weighed with gown and panties only.

79.  At work yesterday, she was lifting a 5-gallon
      bucket of pain.

80.  She was seen at Sacred Heart emergency room
      last night for an episode of profound weakness
      and lightheartedness.

81. This man was seen by me a month and a half ago
      and got over it.