Thoughts 2

In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth?
If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards
to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you
supposed to open it and use it?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look
like the way they do?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON
stick to the pan?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If I save time, when do I get it back?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word
processor do?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are
there locks on the doors?

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around
and sing "Happy Birthday?"

How does it work out that these people always die in
alphabetical order?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work
in the mornings?

How is it possible to have a "civil" war?

How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where
do they keep it?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Are part time Band Leaders, Semi-Conductors?

How Can There be self help "groups"?

If all the world is a stage where are the audience sitting?

If Peanut Butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are
Girl Scout cookies made of?

If I melt dry Ice can I take a bath without getting wet?

If Space is a Vacuum who changes the bags?

If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants
over his trousers?

When we say our Mind-wanders, where does it go?

If a Parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

Would a Fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustraphobic?

When it rains why don't sheep shrink?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that
only eats endangered plants.

If a cop arrests a mime do they tell her she has the right to
remain silent?

If it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why do Kamikaze pilots where helmets?

How do you know it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

How does a thermos know when to keep something hot,
hot and something cold, cold?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of earrings and a pair of
glasses, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

Why do you have a hot water heater when you don't need to
heat hot water.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If firefighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime...
what do Freedom fighters fight?

Why is there a permanent press setting on an iron if it does
not work?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in a fish market?

Why aren't there seatbelts in buses and taxi cabs?

What causes the holes in Swiss cheese?

How was the order of the alphabet determined?

Why do we have to dry clean raincoats?

Where does the lost sock in the dryer go?

Why don't we get dizzy from the world spinning so fast?

Why is it called football when you really don't use your feet at all?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes...why do we still have
monkeys and apes?

Why do we push harder on the remote control when we know
the battery is dead?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?