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Well maybe not... <giggle> but fun to read
all the same.
Eagles may soar, but
weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
He who hesitates is probably right
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with
No one is listening until you make a mistake
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach
Two wrongs are only the beginning
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines
A fool and his money are soon partying
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it
If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments
Attempt to get a new car for your spouse. It will be a great trade
Love may be blind, but marriage is an eye opener
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back
Beware of geeks bearing gifts
Half the people you know are below average
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't
happen at once.
If at first you don't succeed, forget it, it can't be done.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
"A closed mouth gathers no foot."
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Get the facts first, THEN panic!
Sweat is nature's way of showing you your muscles are crying.
There are few problems that can't be solved with high explosives.
Drag the Joneses down to your level. It's cheaper.
When all else fails, follow instructions.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely is not for you |
The midi playing is good vibrations..<--right click and select save target as
to download. escape to stop music
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